yoga fart attack
Every night when I get my daughter to sleep, we have a routine. I tell her one story and then sing You Are My Sunshine and Que Sera Sera to her while I stretch and do yoga on the floor next to her bed. As some may know yoga has a tendency to relax your muscles…all of your muscles…including the fart container muscles. At some point, my fart holder in muscles relaxed and I commited biological warfare on my poor little girl. She was falling asleep, I left the room, and then about 10 minutes later she started crying. My wife went in there and from the room I was in, I could hear Dana say, “whew!”
Viv then told my wife, “Daddy made it stinky in here.”
After a couple sprays of Lysol, the biological threat was gone and she went to sleep. I’m pretty sure NATO is going to call me to a hearing soon about my possession of Weapons of Nasal Destruction. Anyway, sorry for farting all over you princess…
We went to my folks for dinner last night and the kids were fairly good. My mother in law kept a better watch on her blood sugar last night and we didn’t have an insulin shock incident last night. Viv was especially proud of her new jewelry and her outfit.
check out my bling
February 1st, 2007 at 9:47 am
I go to a yoga class four times a week. Let’s just say that i have t manage my gas inducing food intake judiciously. A former student of mine who is out of college now, once told me that, “Men where not built to do do yoga.” I was indignant but I guess, thinking back, she was referring to the farting problem. Men should only do yoga with men, I guess. But that would be about three of us.
February 1st, 2007 at 9:54 am
You’re the only person I know who has a “farts” category on their blog. Yoga is something I could never do, I feel awkward just stretching for my bike rides, let alone doing that kind of stuff.
I’m glad your mother in law was paying attention yesterday; it’s only one day, but that’s a step in the right direction.
Viv is such a show-off!
February 1st, 2007 at 10:29 am
Call me sadistic… but nothing makes me chuckle more than sneaking one out in my son’s room during our nightly bedtime ritual.
He still hasn’t linked toots with smell though, which is why I giggle so hard when he gets that I-smell-something-really-differnt look on his face and asks me “Daddy… I smell something.”
February 1st, 2007 at 10:48 am
Ha, ha, ha. Daddy leaves a Dark Cloud of Doom behind in his pursuit of inner peace and tranquility.
Que Sera, sera, whatever will be will be.
February 1st, 2007 at 1:43 pm
I hope you’re socking away your pennies for the therapy fund…
February 1st, 2007 at 1:48 pm
Dave loves to dutch oven Julia. He lets out a rump trumpet and then shouts, “Let’s go to HOLLAND!” and pulls the covers up over her head. She loves this, as she and he have the same active ass.
February 1st, 2007 at 2:00 pm
tulip – there’s a wonderful game you’ll have to tell Dave about – “Turtle” is when you fart under the covers, pull the blanket over your heads, first one to poke their head out loses.
February 1st, 2007 at 9:48 pm
Okay I take yoga in School it is one of my “electives” and i TRULY HATE IT!IT IS THE WORST CLASS I TAKE!
February 2nd, 2007 at 8:57 am
I have never taken yoga, so I had no idea. Interesting.
February 7th, 2007 at 4:47 pm
This is remarkable! My brother discovered the so-called “fart position” when he was about 10 years old. You have to balance on your shoulders and elbows, with the hands positioned at the waist and legs akimbo, swaying gently in the air. You hear a slurping noise and feel the cold air when a potential farts gets sucked into the bottom. Then fire it out. They don’t smell though.
What he did on the walk to school was swallow air, as you would do for a forced belch. Except you don’t rift it out, you keep building up the stores of air until it makes its way down through the digestive system, and then release it into the classroom! Good times.