the little picture
This weekend was all about setting a short to-do list and getting it done. I tried to take it easy on myself as far as the chores around the house and allow for time to relax and get out for a run and a bike ride to the Flying W.
Although I feel myself getting down again, I came across a weird idea, but one I think I need to meditate on – focus on the little picture right now. I am looking forward to seeing my son and daughter so much this Friday. But there’s a part of me that can’t stop thinking about how wrong it all is, I am relegated to weekends once in a while. When I can afford plane tickets, or they are given to me. There are fathers infinitely worse than I am that have more time with their children. But I can’t think of that. It is what it is. My kids won’t learn strength and love from a man that spends all of his time depressed about what should have been or what I (and they) deserved. So for now, I’m going to focus on the small picture. The one where I get to see them this weekend. Because for this weekend, I will be all tickles, reading stories, and plenty of silly.
The phone rang on Saturday with a broken process I had to fix for the day job. This call came right after I walked in from a 5 mile run. The nasty humidity sucked every bit of energy out of me. I got the issue resolved and then changed into new clothes to get drenched as I rode my bike to my parents to cut their lawn. Saturday night I went to my buddies Doug and Dani’s house to watch the crappy Phils game. I had fun chatting with their son Chance about how to make the best funny faces and his peanut allergy.
Sunday after Yogi and I went swimming, I made a new ComicLife for the kids and put it in the mailbox. Yogi was extremely happy to get a chance to chase frogs and swim out as far as doggily possible. 
The rest of Sunday was laundry, and putting together an ERD for Marty’s project. I read a bunch of Wicked.
Sunday night I watched some of the Eagles preseason game. The offense looked flat, but McNabb seemed to be moving fine with the knee brace. It’s really tough to judge the offense in the preseason because of how little Westbrook is used. Defensively, I was really underwhelmed with the linebackers. At defensive tackle, Mike Patterson looked great. He was pushing the line back and seemed to be constantly disrupting the play in the backfield.
Taking advantage of my insomnia, I watched a lot of movies this
weekend. Dawn of the Dead – I love me a good zombie movie and this was a really good horror flick. You can’t look for Shakespeare in this genre, just entertainment. The Lives of Others was amazing, this takes place in pre-democratic East Germany. A Stasi officer finds himself helping his own surveillance targets and getting wrapped up in their lives in the East Berlin theater community, lives which are more full than his own. Also, I watched Chinatown, a flick I’ve been meaning to watch for a long time. I always like seeing a young Nicholson, before he started becoming a caricature of himself (aka Christian Slater).
- Galaxiki – a fictional galaxy anyone can edit
- Walrus Penis Bone Sold for $8000 – that makes me feel great, people have enough money laying around to buy dick bones…from a walrus even.
- Gonzales Resigns – he probably doesn’t recall resigning though.
- Horny Cow…or whatever that is
- BBC Documentary on fast rise and faster fall of The Stone Roses – Part One, Part Two, Part Three, Part Four, Part Five, Part Six
August 27th, 2007 at 9:14 am
…he probably doesn’t recall resigning though.
great one FB!
btw… who knew there was a market for walrus penii!
Not to sound too corny… but perspective is everything.
August 27th, 2007 at 9:48 am
Big E said it…perspective is everything. Your children will learn lots of things from you. They are very lucky to have a dad who cares so much about them. Being silly is a great thing to be.
August 27th, 2007 at 9:51 am
Living in the moment has it’s advantages. (namely you don’t have to think about tomorrow)
August 27th, 2007 at 10:44 am
Hey cool! Good for you for finding your own way through it all. Fathers and love are amazingly powerful. While you feel insignificant with the time spent, it has an unbelievable impact on your children. They won’t remember the daycare provider they spent 9 hours with but they will remember the call from dad, the weekends and the conversations.
Happy Monday!
August 27th, 2007 at 10:46 am
I like the small picture idea. I usually overwhelm myself with the big picture and end up feeling like I should be breathing into a paper bag or something.
August 27th, 2007 at 11:53 am
I am so glad you get to see your kids this weekend … that’s great! I hope you have a fantastic visit.
I’m sure I’ve missed a lot in my absence, but Sarah and I are back now, and we were thinking of you during our vacation, and hoping you’re doing well. It looks like you had a decent weekend, at least.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:07 pm
Big E – perspective is everything when you’re spending 8 grand on a walrus penis bone
April – good, because I’m good at the silly
Lorrie – I just need a bit of a break from tomorrow right now, until tomorrow in fact
Open Grove Claudia – yeah, I can’t wait to get them to sleep this coming weekend, just stroke Viv’s hair and tell her princess stories, read with Bub’s head on my chest.
Chris – what if I have a small picture of a bag?
apertome – twas a good weekend, and judging from the pics I saw on Sarah’s blog, looks like you guys had a nice trip down south too
August 27th, 2007 at 12:36 pm
Mcnab is a phenomenal QB when he’s healthy. He looked pretty good a couple of weeks ago. He’s was also great for me two years ago on my fantasy team, but I don’t trust his health enough to pick him anymore.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Wow, it’s this weekend? That came fast — probably faster for me than for you, though.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:40 pm
“Wicked” is wicked good.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:42 pm
corky – the offense will most likely be fine this year, i worry more about westbrook than mcnabb. who do you root for in kentucky? you mentioned the chiefs and colts in one post I believe, but the rams could be in the mix too i suppose, or even the titans depending on where you are in that state.
mamatulip – aye it seems forever until i have those two nestled on my chest.
August 27th, 2007 at 12:43 pm
V-Grrl – I’m digging it so far, due to workery though, I haven’t had much time to dig into it. I’ll read a lot on the plane rides this weekend though
August 27th, 2007 at 1:44 pm
Small picture can be easier to focus on, baby steps, Bob, baby steps.
I kept thinking of 50 First Dates while reading about that Walrus dong.
Yikes
August 27th, 2007 at 1:47 pm
Logo – I now consider my day successful since the phrase “walrus dong” has appeared in a comment.
August 27th, 2007 at 3:14 pm
Can’t wait to see all the “walrus dong” GOOGLE hits you’re gonna get now…
ONE DAY AT A TIME…
August 27th, 2007 at 3:16 pm
Craig D. – perhaps I’ll change the tagline to “The #1 Walrus Dong Site on the Internet”…and perhaps not.
August 27th, 2007 at 5:18 pm
That focusing on the here and now approach just may save your sanity; it’ll definitely make you better with your kids during the time you have with them.
Ya big smartie.
August 28th, 2007 at 7:13 am
Focus on the little picture, that is what I do when going through something tough. One step at a time and do the best you can do in each small moment. You are doing awesome, and I can’t wait until you see your kids again!
August 28th, 2007 at 8:09 am
Man – you watch more movies in a single night than I do in a month. Of course, I suck at sitting still, so that might have something to do with it.
August 28th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
Jocelyn – yeah I like this sanity stuff, it’s got a catchy beat and i can dance to it.
tori – me neither
Marty – well, when you have as much free time or rather hate free time like i do…
August 29th, 2007 at 7:10 pm
You’re so right that a lot of not-very-good to downright abusive fathers have their kids all the time. It’s terribly unfair, but you are teaching Van and Viv so much about how a good man manages to keep on going and loving despite horrible setbacks.
And it really is true that quality time is more important in the long run than quantity, even though in a perfect world, this wouldn’t be a factor.
Just enjoy the weekend, and the looking forward to it. You are building memories with your children that will warm their hearts forever.