clouds for us to sculpt

I was way productive yesterday, like way productive. I put the front porch back together, measured the gutter (that I need to replace from the porch project, one small vertical section had to be removed to paint a column), measured the area for decking in the attic, took a 4 mile run, fixed some OS Commerce issues for one customer, and finished the PHP portion of the site conversion from Classic ASP/SQL -> PHP/MySQL. While doing the last two items, I did get a chance to watch the Flyers beat the tar out of the Thrashers.

The one thing I didn’t get done was talk to my kids. I tried to let them call me, I waited but it got close to 8pm and I didn’t want to miss their bedtime for the second time in three nights. But when I called them, they were too cranky to talk to me. Cue thick fog of depression…

I finished watching the end of two movies last night – M and Little Miss Sunshine. Alan Arkin’s character was hilarious in Little Miss Sunshine – … “Fuck a lotta women, kid, I have no reason to lie to you. Not just one, a lotta women.” The ending of the movie was great. The character Olive reminded me of Viv in her empathetic ways, especially the scene where she convinces her big brother to get back in the van, by reassuringly putting her head and arm on him. Big hearts are still worth a lot, I hope my kids never forget their Daddy’s. Viv and Van have both known when I needed that hug or smooch on the cheek.

I read a few more chapters of A Confederacy of Dunces and then finally went to sleep, my head racing with worries of when I’ll get to talk to my kids. Not all fathers have this worry. Most can walk down the hall and have the simple reassurance of safety of his children by seeing them sleeping.

The distance is quite simply much too far for me to row
It seems farther than ever before

I need you so much closer

Death Cab For Cutie ~ Transatlanticism

As I ran around Medford Lakes … past the playground fathers pushing their kids on swings, a pair of siblings and their pop practicing their home run swing with a wiffle ball bat, past the father walking next to a daughter riding her bike affixed with wobbly training wheels, … but you probably think I’m spiraling down with this passage…nope, my head went toward thoughts of next summer. I will teach Vivienne to ride her bike without training wheels. Van and I will work on turning double plays in our backyard.

They will come home again. There’s two thirds of a hammock waiting for them and lots of clouds for us to sculpt in our minds into whatever we want.

21 Responses to “clouds for us to sculpt”

  1.  Craig D. Says:

    I prepared to HATE “Little Miss Sunshine” but it quickly won me over.

    Sorry about that distance thing, though.

  2.  Dyna Girl Says:

    I LOVE that movie. I resisted it, too…especially when my family announced we were watching it after Christmas dinner. Never the less, I LOVE that movie.

    2/3 of a hammock waiting…what an image.

  3.  logoâ„¢ Says:

    I really enjoyed that movie too, unexpectedly so.
    Summer is coming, its true.
    About this time of year, as the days are getting shorter (less light) I start really looking forward to the winter solstice and the days getting longer.
    Come on December 21st!

  4.  Chris Says:

    I always need a nap after reading how busy you’ve been…

  5.  V-Grrrl Says:

    Little Miss Sunshine rocked, and I LOVE Greg Kinnear.

    And food for thought: sometimes even when someone is with their kids all the time, the kids still don’t get cranky and clam up, won’t talk to you or each other, fuss and fight, act unpleasant, and then fall asleep and wake to a brand new day.

    I’m telling you this just so you don’t blame the distance or see yourself as the cause. It happens, it’s not your fault, and tomorrow is a brand new day.

  6.  furiousBall Says:

    Craig D – yep, I wasn’t really sure of the film until the ending either

    Dyna Girl – truth be told, the kids do take up less of the hammock than I do

    logo – i love the cold, really do. i can’t wait for it to snow.

    Chris – i always want to play with my cat after reading yours

    V-Grrrl – it’s just doubly hard for me because that time was mine with them, i was their wind-down routine. reading books and tucking them in. now, it’s gone

  7.  Lorrie Says:

    Your house will be completely remodeled by the time those kids are there for the summer if you keep this up.

    It’s tough being away from your kids. All you can do is make the most of it and keep calling.

  8.  Open Grove Claudia Says:

    I love DeVotchKa. In fact, I think I’m wearing my sexy cop outfit to their concert for Xmas. (They did the soundtrack to Little Miss Sunshine.) Shoot me an email if you’d like some tracks.

    I think every parent has times when they have to let their children experience the world. Yes, you are getting that early. Yes, this is a sucky situation.

    Still the premise is the same. It’s their time to experience a little bit.

    All you have to do is love them. And that’s enough.

  9.  Hilly Says:

    Just think of the time that they will be there with you and try to hold on to that. I know it is easier said than done.

  10.  furiousBall Says:

    Lorrie – one drawback to painting that porch is now it makes the house really look like it needs repainting (which is does)

    Hilly – one day i’m going to find something that is easier done than said. like creating a syllabus for a class in electromagneticistic thingies… that’s a lot of big words

  11.  april Says:

    Wanna throw some of that productivness my way??? I’m being LAZY this week for some reason. Anyhow, glad you got stuff done. Sounds like you have seen the light….think about all the fun the three of you will have when they come home. I wish it would come faster for you.

  12.  furiousBall Says:

    april – i’ll trade you some productiveness for some of that lazy any time. i thought i had a free night tonight (or mostly) but then i had two clients email me with some more changes and another issue with an almost closed project… oh well.

  13.  tori Says:

    I am so glad to read that you are starting to look forward to the good things to come!

    I have seen that baby cake thing, and I don’t believe I could eat something that 1.has so many people touching it so much before it is ready, and 2.looks so real.

  14.  Christy Says:

    The parent-child dancing shoes are the cutest things I have ever seen!

  15.  furiousBall Says:

    Open Grove Claudia – DeVotchKa…hmm, I need to check ‘em out.

    tori – i’m trying my best to do that. but yeah, baby cake… belongs in a haunted house

    Christy – cuter than the baby cake? yes

  16.  corky Says:

    I enjoyed Little Miss Sunshine a lot. Cloud sculpting sounds like a lot of fun. Is it anything like watching TV?

  17.  dorky dad Says:

    I adored Little Miss Sunshine. One of my favorite movies of recent years, and that scene with Olive and her brother was a movie classic.

    I was just privy to a conversation last week GLOWING about Confederacy of Dunces. Hope you like it.

  18.  furiousBall Says:

    corky – close, less radioactive waves tho

    dorky dad – agreed and i hope so too

  19.  Craig D. Says:

    Did you see today’s DILBERT? YOU’RE FAMOUS!

  20.  Franki Says:

    I marvel at your productivity. And I loved Little Miss Sunshine. Almost peed me panties at the end.

  21.  furiousBall Says:

    Craig – I spotted that too! woo hoo!

    Franki – which is better than peeing someone else’s panties… trust me on this one

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