sails fall faster than they fill
It’s amazing how fine the line is between me feeling good and bad lately. 
Yesterday was going well, work was pretty normal. I got home and there was a package on my porch (containing a really nice warm running pullover from my friend in Atlanta that works for Nike). I then put on said nice pullover and went for a 4 mile run. The moonlit deer paths through the woods were great. I invoiced some of my development customers. I finished watching On the Waterfront (now I see why Brando got so many great roles). I had picked up 28 Weeks Later from the library. I changed the bed sheets. I washed Yogi’s dog bed (it didn’t get last night’s barf, but it was time). I hauled the 6 50 lb bags of water softener in and filled the tank. I was all set to get a light load of work done (just a new page for the Battleship NJ was on tap). I called the kids up, Viv and I had a nice talk, but Van was distracted and it was tough to get any of his attention. So that took all that momentousness joy and squashed it.
It’s hard for me and my kids, this distance. It’s hard for me not to get excited to talk to them for the 10 minutes I get to spend with them on a phone call or iChat. I need to just take a deep breath and be OK with this happening from time to time. December 22nd isn’t far away.
Tell everybody
Waitin’ for Superman
That they should try to hold on
Best they can
He hasn’t dropped them
Forgot them
Or anything
It’s just too heavy for Superman to lift
The Flamming Lips – Waitin’ For A Superman
Speaking of the Battleship New Jersey, my favorite battleship will be featured on TLC’s What Not to Wear tomorrow night at 9pm (EST).
One of the major drawbacks about my Verizon FIOS TV is no CN8, which is the channel that carries the Flyers games that aren’t covered by CSN (usually when the stupid Sixers are on). So I listened to the radio to the Flyers beat the Canes for the third time this year. It really chafes me when the Flyers get preempted by pro basketball, a sport that I find completely unwatchable. It’s not the game, college basketball is great stuff – you know where they actually play defense and give a crap. Here’s a post about hockey love that was actually forwarded to me whilst I was writting this very paragraph (that’s right this one) by Chris from Stumbling Over Chaos.
I got a nice email from Phil Lerman, the author of Dadditude who will be sending me a copy of his book to review. That’s two things I do like – being a father and reading books.
I’m going to continue to stay busy tonight, it’s my only means to fight off funk. I’ve got a guitar lesson, coding work to be done, and hopefully I’ll have some time available to work on It Will All Be Over Soon too.
November 29th, 2007 at 9:19 am
The brain is a mysterious thing isn’t it? With everchanging chemical balances based on emotion, it is no surprise your feelings lean one way and then the other. Just try to stay as positive as possible. I’m sorry I don’t have any better advice. I will keep you in my prayers.
November 29th, 2007 at 9:43 am
Busy is definitely a savior sometimes. You are doing all the right things and just have to make it long enough for some of the payoff to filter through. Hang tight. tick tock.
November 29th, 2007 at 9:44 am
hey furious, I get in funks all the time, and I don’t have to deal with the whole distance thing, so I can’t even imagine what that is like…..keep counting down those days – December 22nd is not far off!!!
On a happier note I was glad to see Hatcher in the lineup last night – he really seems energized this year and has been playing like the guy I used to hate when he was with the Stars….good things!!!
Finally, I LOVE On the Waterfront – what a great movie!!! I coulda been somebody, I coulda been a contender…..
November 29th, 2007 at 9:51 am
eeek, dog gack is no fun to clean up. well, like the others said, sometimes busy is good enough to distract and keep us out of funk. another alternative is some funk music. hard to feel blue when you’re listening to superfreak of somesuch. hang in there.
November 29th, 2007 at 9:53 am
Christy – thank you amiga. i actually caught myself watching spongebob the other night and put my hand where Viv’s hair would be while she laid on my chest. not fair.
Dyna Girl – i will do me best.
Mike D. – Hatch is looking good ever since the second half of last season. It took him a season and a half to adjust to the new NHL rules and I don’t think he got all the way healthy. He’s not the prototypical D man any more, but he’s still a good hockey player and a punishing hitter.
November 29th, 2007 at 10:01 am
lime – welcome to my mess over here. it is tough to feel sad when you’re listening to bootsie collins – good point
November 29th, 2007 at 10:18 am
Joy is more difficult to maintain than sorrow, in spades. Joy is this conscious decision we must make upon waking and remind ourselves at random intervals through the day that it’s worth setting our sights on.
In other words, depression sucks, man.
November 29th, 2007 at 10:31 am
flutter said it best, as usual. blah. just keep at it. just keep at it.
November 29th, 2007 at 10:48 am
Yip, distance sucks. I don’t have kids but I know that having someone you love live so far away just plain sucks. But hang in there! Vodka??
That Furiousball Elf is pretty frightening. Whimsical yet sinister. Swimsical? Whimister?
November 29th, 2007 at 11:01 am
I think this time of year is a delicate dance in general. It’s been so cold here that it’s hard to do anything but stand by the heater.
Good for you for keeping moving. You’re right, this is how it is sometimes. I hope they move back.
November 29th, 2007 at 11:13 am
Eerie, the timing on that. Hopefully you grooved to the “Me Like Hockey” song as you finished writing.
If I hadn’t just come out of a meeting that drained my brain, I could maybe come up with something other than that. *blank stare*
November 29th, 2007 at 12:17 pm
i got nothing for you that hasn’t already been said. december usually does fly fast with all the flurry of activity though, and i look forward to many happy photos from the kid visit. and then you’ll look up, it will be a new year full of new things. it’s about time for 2007 to be put to bed.
November 29th, 2007 at 12:19 pm
flutter – Joy is a greasy ball that is difficult to hold onto, depression is a kick in the nuts. I always drop the greasy ball when I get kicked in the nuts. I should have thought this whole metaphor our better…
Jodi – no, i don’t want to get kicked in the nuts anymore! oh wait, you meant the joy stuff, yes.
Mary – which is why Santa wouldn’t hire me. apparently swimsical is frowned upon at the north pole
Open Grove Claudia – yep, the run felt great. i might have to double up on that tonight
Chris – meetings make the best of us the worst of us
November 29th, 2007 at 12:20 pm
liv – yeah, screw 2007 right in it’s butthole
November 29th, 2007 at 2:19 pm
>>Screw 2007 right in it’s butthole” is going to be my slogan for the rest of this year.
November 29th, 2007 at 2:22 pm
Mine too! (re: above comment)
November 29th, 2007 at 2:25 pm
Tink – I see bumper stickers in my CafePress store soon.
mamatulip – I’ll put you down for one too
November 29th, 2007 at 3:24 pm
wow. had no idea there was an FB store. i am going to rock one of those tanks in yoga class… but, then maybe they’d be asking why i was furious in yoga. nevermind.
November 29th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
I didn’t know you sold thongs. You truly are a jack of many trades.
November 29th, 2007 at 5:01 pm
None of my business techy chap, but have you considered a webcam and skype to communicate with the kids?
One of my pals uses it in England to chat to her brothers in Australia and the USA.
Just a thought.
Cheers
November 29th, 2007 at 7:11 pm
damn! no furiousBall ball in the furiousBall shop.
as for the bumper sticker and its stated message, maybe you could photoshop the FB logo and morph it into a goatse-esque type o’ thingy. then again…
November 29th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
liv – there are many wonderful items and those that truly understand that fury is not anger will get it
franki – or jack ass of many trades
Maddy – yep, we use iChat, my ex and I both have cams
E – yeah i’ll get to work on that
November 29th, 2007 at 10:29 pm
I suffer from the same high-low swings… everything can be peachy keen jellybean and then one small thing goes awry and I find myself obsessing over said small thing… I need to learn to let the fuck go.
November 29th, 2007 at 11:00 pm
Van, I was talking to my son Mateo about missing by cbh buddies, and I mentioned you. He found it funny that I have a friend named Van and we were driving in a Van. At any rate, hope all is well.
November 29th, 2007 at 11:20 pm
I’m right there with you – who the hell wants to see the Sixers, or most pro basketball for that matter. I’d watch the worst hockey game over 99% of pro basketball any day…
BTW, I need to give you a call. I have some good news for you…
November 30th, 2007 at 12:50 am
I can see how your mood could swing so quickly … but keeping busy really a very good way to deal with it. And Dec. 22 will come quickly!
November 30th, 2007 at 5:52 am
This week was a little slow because we just came off a holiday, but the rest of this month should fly and it will be the 22nd before you know it!
November 30th, 2007 at 9:12 am
Kristin – peachy keen jellybean is my favorite jelly belly flavor
Paul – imagine the hilariousness that ensued when myself and Van Jr. were driving around in our van. we were truly Van Accessible
Marty – good news sounds good, you gots my digits
dorky dad – thanks amigo
corky – good point, what i need to do is start the anxiety of how will i get everything ready for the kids arrival, then time will go to fast, perfect
December 2nd, 2007 at 10:39 am
Hope the kids are feeling better!
December 2nd, 2007 at 8:12 pm
green day nice
December 4th, 2007 at 12:52 am
Hurry Dec. 22… HURRY!!
I will be so happy for you on that day!!!