Maddox, System of a Down, and me
if you look closely, you’ll see some snow
The good news is that it snowed (a little bit), the bad news is that there isn’t a full log carrier on the deck and after it snowed, it rained all over my cord of firewood. Ergo, I’ll be stacking some wet wood when I get home tonight in hopes of it drying some time relatively soon.
What a perfect segway, stacking firewood in wintry conditions to talking about finishing The Alphabet of Manliness last night. Any book that opens with an illustration of a lumberjack punching Santa Claus in the face you know is going be good irreverent humor. The Best Page in The Universe has long been a favorite of mine and Maddox’s writing worked well in book form too. Wait a second… just found this Salon article hey, just like System of a Down and myself – he’s Armenian too (the ian ending of his name). Back to the book, it’s extremely offensive if you are a woman, old, a child, dislike pirates, or don’t care for fart/poop jokes – but it’s funny. I mean there’s an illustration of a cave man clubbing the last dinosaur on earth to death with his erection. He even delved into Chuck Norris, “The only war Chuck hasn’t fought in is the Macedonian War because Chuck Norris doesn’t give a shit about Macedonia.” Great stuff, but must be taken with a tanker truck of salt.
- The Guggenheim Museum in Tree Fungus
- Purrcast – just like it sounds
- One Cold Hand
- Salami Fighting
December 3rd, 2007 at 9:59 am
I have a fireplace and I have never used it yet – bought a package of firewood at Lowe’s last year and it is still sitting outside in the plastic…I think I need to get it inspected and possibly cleaned before first use….oops this is your blog – sorry for the rambling – snow, yeah! as long is it is just a dusting and occurs on the weekend….
December 3rd, 2007 at 10:02 am
Mike D – one of my fellow Medford Lakers spotted me buying a Duraflame log this weekend and they gave me the stink eye for what is akin to juicing.
December 3rd, 2007 at 10:05 am
Well, I’m kind of an oldish woman who’s immature like a child, but I’m checkin out the book anyway. I’m neutral on pirates.
December 3rd, 2007 at 10:09 am
Franki – Maddox does teach the art of performing the perfect cock punch, so that’s handy for any pirates that might step out of line
December 3rd, 2007 at 11:08 am
I wonder if anyone at work would notice if you brought a few logs in to dry off in the office warmth…
December 3rd, 2007 at 11:17 am
I think that the art of the perfect cock punch is pretty much remedial for most women. In fact, most of us prefer to not waste brawn with what can easily be done with the brain. I mean, why make your hand sore when you could be buffing your nails?
December 3rd, 2007 at 11:58 am
Dude, Chuck Norris is going to reverse roundhouse on your ass for saying that.
We have snow that looks just like the snow you have.
I do like system of a down…. I bet you’re shocked… alternative metal… less than 4 minutes a song… gee, I bet Claudia loves this band.
December 3rd, 2007 at 12:13 pm
Heh, now I’m envisioning you sorta like the Log Lady from Twin Peaks.
December 3rd, 2007 at 12:17 pm
This, my friend, is the best book review I’ve ever seen. I’ve never been a book club kind of girl but if I was I’d invite you and this would be our first book. Also, there would be beergaritas.
December 3rd, 2007 at 1:19 pm
Chris – maybe, just don’t envision me as the Log Lady from Twin Peaks
liv – i’d prefer the nail buffing, it’s less testiculely
Open Grove Claudia – it would be an honor to get kicked in the face by Chuck
Chris – doh!
Jenny – *curtseys*
December 3rd, 2007 at 2:21 pm
Hey! I can make fart/poop jokes with the best of them! Just not at work. Okay, just not at work during meetings…sometimes.
December 3rd, 2007 at 2:31 pm
Mary – don’t be silly, girls don’t poop
December 3rd, 2007 at 6:51 pm
I was browsing through the humor titles at B&N a few weeks back and that was one of the few books that actually made me laugh. Most “humor books” are just stupid. Except for mine, of course. Mine is funny.
December 3rd, 2007 at 6:55 pm
We had a horrible snow/ice/freezing rain storm the day after we got back from Florida. I think someone was trying to tell us that we should have stayed in the beautiful 80 degree weather.
December 3rd, 2007 at 7:48 pm
You call that snow?
Pft.
Is Jersey filled with pussies or what?
December 3rd, 2007 at 8:32 pm
Diesel – Maddox’s book is great, I flew through it. I heard you wrote a book.
tori – yeah, it’s nasty here too
Jay – hey, hey whoa whoa there. i did call it a dustin’, we got tough people here in joisey, don’t worry your tuque about it.
December 4th, 2007 at 12:49 am
DOH!! on the damp firewood!!
Does look chilly there!!
December 4th, 2007 at 1:56 am
Ugh. Damp firewood. What a bummer. I’m going to go hug my gas fireplace right now.
December 4th, 2007 at 7:04 am
I’d like to see the pic of the Lumber Jack punching Santa in the face, but I’ll wait for the movie.
December 4th, 2007 at 9:18 am
Are you sure that is snow? Looks like dense frost to me. =o) It definitely got blustery.
December 4th, 2007 at 12:54 pm
Sounds interesting, but I don’t know that I would be able to fit in another book. My bookshelf already has 2 dozen that I haven’t gotten to, and Shari’s threatening to take away my reading license (and my credit card/library card).
December 4th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
Terri – I’ve had chillier, but this is plenty chilly enough
dorky dad – i whispered sweet nothings into my wood burning stoves ear last night and then i burned my lips off my face
corky – here it is
Christy – just barely snow
Marty – yeah, i have a reading problem myself