where my dog mugs a pregnant lady
Last night I was a blur… I got home, cleaned the lizard cage, stacked firewood, took a 4 mile run, made a change to the Battleship NJ website, went over to my parents’ for dinner, hung out with Holly for a bit (she came to see Mr. E), read a couple stories to the kids, spent a few hours fixing whatever the fuck IPOWER did to the Wheelies OSC store, fixed an apostrophe error with a PERL script on NitroVideo, and finished World War Z.
Holly arrived at my place while I was at my parents finishing up dinner. I told her to watch out for Yogi. Yogi is a sweet boy, but very rambunctious and Holly is 6 months pregnant. Yogi can just be a bit, ahem, over zealous and I was worried about her knocking Holly down. I’m on my way home and my phone rings with Holly’s number on my caller ID. Uh oh. “Hello?”
[lots of giggling, with burst of snorts and sniffs from Yogi can be heard]
“Hello, HOLLY ARE YOU OK?”
“Yeah, I’m fine… AHHHH STOP IT! Your big smelly dog has me pinned on the couch.”
“Is he being too rough? I’ll be right there.”
“No, he’s just sniffing me and sitting in my lap with his paws up on my shoulders.”
And that’s Yogi right there in a nutshell. He’s big, dumb, and he loves you – that’s all he knows.
I started 30 Days of Night before bed (which came late from all the coding work of course) and it was OK. Not nearly as scary as I had hoped it would be. Josh Hartnett is this generation’s Brendan Fraser, he kills movies. He has been in some decent films, but he can just flat out suck the life out of a script. I think I might be holding a grudge against him for making such a shitty film out of Pearl Harbor (although the blame could be spread thickly across the entire cast and crew for that piece of garbage).
But wait Van, didn’t Pearl Harbor win an Oscar? Yeah for fucking Best Sound Editing. But wait Van, it was also nominated for Oscars as well! Right, for Best Effects, Best Music, and Best Sound which means this would be a kick ass movie to see blindfolded. If you make a movie about one of the most amazing events in the history of mankind and spend $140 million doing so… I mean it’s seriously mind-bottling how that movie came out so terrible.
[red]j_pFTAY7MF8[/red]
- The Best Fortune Cookie Ever
- Surveillance Light
- Obama-Goatse logo
- Camouflaged Photography of Desiree Palmen
- Captain Labor – brought to you by my good buddy, Vodkafish
February 28th, 2008 at 9:26 am
Scandal! News at 11! Yogi’s thuggery exposed!
February 28th, 2008 at 9:37 am
Poor Yogi. The intensity of his love knows no bounds.
February 28th, 2008 at 9:49 am
Chris – i have to make sure he doesn’t go wilding
a. beaverhausen – you’re right, i mean seriously, some days it’s like trying to sweep the ocean back with a broom
February 28th, 2008 at 9:52 am
I’ve not seen the movie, so maybe I should just give it a pass / wait until TIVO catches up. Yogi sounds irresistible.
Cheers
February 28th, 2008 at 9:55 am
Is Yogi available for dating?
February 28th, 2008 at 9:57 am
Maddy – I’m sure Yogi would not be able to resist pouncing on you either – that count?
Kevin – i’m sure he’d be happy to be a 120 pound lap dog for you too
February 28th, 2008 at 10:14 am
“He’s big, dumb, and he loves you – that’s all he knows.” — that sounds like our dog Rob. Big and smelly too.
Also, it’s amazing the havoc apostrophes can wreak when it comes to Perl. Yeesh.
February 28th, 2008 at 10:18 am
Apertome – the problem was that the site is using apostrophes in their URLs, which are legal chars, but still, annoying to code around… especially in Perl
February 28th, 2008 at 10:22 am
Yogi gives good love. I’d be his bitch. : )
February 28th, 2008 at 10:33 am
V-Grrrl – wow, it’s not a good sign when my dog’s romantic life is better than my own
February 28th, 2008 at 11:19 am
Yogi is quite the man! Who’d of thought, with a name like Yogi?
February 28th, 2008 at 11:21 am
Carolyn – maybe the pin ‘em down strategy is the way to go with the ladies?
February 28th, 2008 at 11:37 am
You must be right abut that movie sucking because can’t remember a single thing bout it.
February 28th, 2008 at 11:55 am
I’ll tell you. I thought the people were so stupid in 30 days of night that they deserved to be eaten slowly. Stupid – really stupid. Have they NEVER seen a vampire movie?? I mean really – no Shaun of the Dead?? Plus the gore… Bleck… blecky bleck. I love vampire movies but this was really just a horror freak show.
February 28th, 2008 at 12:00 pm
Is Yogi an Irish Setter?
Have we talked about this before?
The only movie that has Josh Hartnett in it that’s worth watching is The Virgin Suicides. I think he was in that movie. Wasn’t he?
February 28th, 2008 at 1:05 pm
Darn good title today. Can’t just move on after seeing that. Not that I would.
Yogi is dreamy. Or I’m starved for attention. Hard to say.
Lots of things are mind-bottling.
February 28th, 2008 at 1:16 pm
yogi’s success would appear to be in his desire to love with reckless abandon. that’s a tip we could all stand to take. and no, i haven’t been reading “Everything I Need To Know I Learned From My Dog.”
February 28th, 2008 at 1:25 pm
Dude that face could totally cure what ails you.
February 28th, 2008 at 1:39 pm
What a sweet dog. I wish my cats (and my small house, and equally small budget) would let me get a dog. Oh, my two cents: the smelly/slobbery/sitting on you thing likely only works for dogs, not men.
February 28th, 2008 at 1:52 pm
Bud – i wish i could forget it, the stink tho, it has a staying power
On a Limb with Claudia – yeah, it’s almost as if they were torn between making something scary or something super gory (a lá Saw) and kind of missed both marks
mamatulip – nope, he’s just a very dark golden retriever. [and yes we have, but i'll play along]
Jennifer – well thank you. Yogs is a good boy, he acts as though no one ever pets him ever when someone new comes by
liv – he drinks out of the toilet too
flutter – he drinks out of the toilet with that face
The Smirking Cat – ok, scratch that off the to do list then. drats.
February 28th, 2008 at 1:56 pm
I need a Yogi in my life.
February 28th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Jazz – i’m sure he’d convince you if he met you that he needs you as well by sitting and drooling on you
February 28th, 2008 at 2:09 pm
Um, someone sent me here. If you check out my post today, you’ll see why. I know you have a dog, but do you know anyone who might want a cat?
February 28th, 2008 at 2:12 pm
Emily R – yep, I just commented on it in fact, i think i got your post by the google reader sharing thingamajobby, but yeah, i have a pup, two kitties, and a lizard too. i’ll ask some buddies around these parts (South Jersey, sorta close to Marlton)
February 28th, 2008 at 2:16 pm
Awwww…Yogi’s got a big pink nose. Down Yogi Down!
February 28th, 2008 at 2:21 pm
Franki – dude, you have no idea, he’s a big orange monster that loves everything, just like Gossamer from Bugs Bunny
February 28th, 2008 at 4:08 pm
i’m tired just reading about all you do in one night. do you make house calls?
February 28th, 2008 at 4:12 pm
jen – oh i do house calls alright… *cue quarter note kick drum beats… wah wah guitar comes in….*
February 28th, 2008 at 4:13 pm
You are SO right about Josh Hartnet. Every time I see that he’s going to be in a movie I give it up for lost. Because the only part he couldn’t screw up is one that doesn’t require him to talk… or move. He could play a really good corpse!
February 28th, 2008 at 4:15 pm
Tink – he’d probably breath and screw that up or tighten up his jowls, you know, that Josh Hartnett troubled look
February 28th, 2008 at 4:37 pm
“Monsters lead such iiiintersting lives……”
My all time favorite episode of Bugs Bunny
February 28th, 2008 at 5:36 pm
Pearl Harbour did suck.
February 28th, 2008 at 9:20 pm
LOL, I LOVE THE BIG SMELLY FIRBALL… NOT HIS BREATH THOUGH!!!
February 28th, 2008 at 9:21 pm
Oh and the BIG lick on the neck he gave me was everything I hoped it would be.. ha ha
February 28th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Lol a kick ass movie to see blind folded. Funniest thing I’ve heard all day.
February 28th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Catizhere – i love that big orange guy
janet – i concur
holly – he loves you too
February 28th, 2008 at 9:24 pm
Christy –
February 28th, 2008 at 10:11 pm
Oh I loved that other character who would Love him and squeeze him…until he squeezed the stuffings right out.
February 28th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Franki – that’s a different character actually… Abominable Snowman or Lonesome Lenny god bless teh google
February 28th, 2008 at 11:21 pm
Aren’t dogs and their owners supposed to be mirrors of each other?
February 28th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
I think that Yogi and Buddy would get along famously. I love my dogs big and lovey. Buddy got into trouble for jumping up on me when i was pregnant with maddy, so now he doesn’t jump on women, but if you’re a guy, you’re fair game.
Oh how I loved the video. It’s effing awesome. Matthew fell out of his chair he laughed so hard.
February 29th, 2008 at 1:04 am
My cats do something similar, but they’re not nearly as big.
I still can’t get over that video. It’s absolutely hilarious. And Thank God you mentioned that, because I was otherwise going to kill you for mentioning that stupid-ass Pearl Harbor movie.
February 29th, 2008 at 8:54 am
Don’t you love big, dumb goldens? They are always so lovable and just want to please. I can see with Yogi being such a big dog, that could be … awkward.
And I pose a question to you – which is worse: Josh Hartnett or Hayden Christiansen? I’d have to go with the latter, easily – he’s got less talent than a cardboard cutout of “Ernest”.
February 29th, 2008 at 8:54 am
“He’s big, dumb, and he loves you”
Honestly, Van, does he need to know anything else? People should be more like Yogi. Maybe not big, or dumb, but the love part.
February 29th, 2008 at 9:56 am
(although the blame could be spread thickly across the entire cast and crew for that piece of garbage).
Afflec sucks, too and destroys everything he touches. I used to love Jennifer Garner…
February 29th, 2008 at 10:17 am
Jocelyn – are you calling me orange? if so, awesomes
april – Yogi loves everybody and most dogs too, i’ll bet you’re right
dorky dad – well i only brought up the-movie-that-shan’t-be-spoken to educate
Marty – yeah, Hayden is so bad. he pretty tough to beat. i mean, i think you probably just pissed off a cardboard cut-out of Ernest by that comparison
Claudia – always the love, agreed
corky – yeah, what’s the opposite of the Midas touch? well, in fairness, Ben did do that Jimmy Kimmel clip, and he was in Dogma and Chasing Amy too
February 29th, 2008 at 1:58 pm
Awwwww, Yog’s. He sounds just like my DalÃ.
February 29th, 2008 at 2:01 pm
Ok, since my attempt at html didn’t work (sooo weird. NOT), let me post you a linky link to my pooch: http://flickr.com/photos/51816657@N00/sets/72157602274767521/
February 29th, 2008 at 3:19 pm
i nearly pee’d myself when i saw that on sunday night.
just got around to making a couple of designs about it :}
http://www.cafepress.com/gigglechick
(i know. i just whored myself in your comments. sorry)