tears
There are days I miss my Dad so much it’s hard to think he’s been gone for almost a year and a half. My son came to me out of the blue yesterday morning in tears, he missed his Papa. I held him and let him cry. Mourning must be so confusing for him on top of all these other emotions he’s going though. But the truth is, we’re all doing OK and although Bubs and I both wish Papa was still here to see us being happy, we know he’s happy right along with us everyday. I held Bub’s head in my hands and asked him, “Do you know you’re my hero Bubzie?”
“Yeah”
“And do you know that Papa is proud of us?”
“Why?”
“Because he sees you back home and happy. And he also sees your Daddy finding some happiness too.”
“Why are you happy?”
“Because you and Viv are home again, I met Abbe, and Daddy is finally working how he always wanted.”
“What about the Phillies winning the World Series?”
“Oh, Papa would have loved that too Bubs.”
Movie reviews…
Inglourious Basterds – I have fallen off the Quentin Tarantino bandwagon since well… Pulp Fiction. So actually, I’m not sure there was an official bandwagon. That’s like saying I was on the M. Night Shyamalan bandwagon… I mean it’s gotten to the point with M. Night that Sixth Sense and Unbreakable were flukes and he actually sucks. But with Quentin, there’s definitely some talent there and the Kill Bill schtick just seems too easy for him. Sorry, I digress – Inglourious Basterds is fun to watch, not lots of shit blowing up Transformers kind of fun, but fun where you enjoy the characters and plot kind of fun.
Funny People -wow, talk about misleading previews… this is a serious film that happens to be funny. After watching the previews, you might think it’s a film about some shitty comedians telling jokes about farts and boners (which it is at points), but it’s a darker film with some serious topics. Not bad. Extra points for the main character being a Wilco fan.
August 31st, 2009 at 9:40 am
day after the parade, a pennant went up on dad’s stone.
and a tastycake, as usual.
they do see. but we’ll always miss them
hugs to you!
August 31st, 2009 at 9:45 am
I know what you mean on the grief front. Sometimes I am secretly glad that my children never met my mother, so they don’t have to grieve with me. I think the way you talk to your kids and let them express themselves and their grief is fantastic. It’s good for them, and for you. Good on ya, Van.
August 31st, 2009 at 10:26 am
My parents have been gone 17 years now. Now grief sleeps and only occasionally stirs; it rarely sits up and demands my attention. When something does force me to confront those feelings again, it’s a vivid reminder of what I lost and how I’ve survived.
I don’t have any sense at all of my parents’ presence; I only have memories…
August 31st, 2009 at 10:36 am
I’m glad there’s happiness in your life, you always did deserve it. You did a great job with Van. Is he excited to be moving over to Neeta?
August 31st, 2009 at 10:41 am
“What about the Phillies winning the World Series?”
Count on Bubs to get to the nitty gritty of things.
August 31st, 2009 at 10:44 am
Hugs to you and Van. I lost my dad almost 22 years ago and there are days that I still cry
August 31st, 2009 at 1:05 pm
Openly sharing grief with the ones you care about (especially when they’re young)
certainly is the best way to handle these emotions, especially when they surface
during those first years of losing someone precious.
Like your dad used to say: Life Grades on a Curve,
missing his presence must be part of the process.
On a personal level I miss the loved ones that were way too young
to leave me these passed years, like my late SIL, only in her twenties.
September 3rd, 2009 at 12:13 am
Thanks for those thoughts and your words on my blog. Funny you were having the same teary-phase about your Dad. I just wanna pick up the phone and say, “What are you up to Dad?” and have him reply “Up to my butt in debt” and hear that laugh of his… You picture them, wanna go and hug em, and realize that you can’t… it’s very difficult.
I am sorry to rev up memories or pains, but I do believe that they stay with us and watch over us… We can always talk to them anytime. Never alone… J
September 10th, 2009 at 8:50 am
i know i am so incredibly late getting to this post but i just wanted to say how much it touched me. everythign about this exchange with bubs is just so healthy. you are such a good daddy.